I Never Imagined.

The feature photo in this blog is of my dad and me, a few years back, ripping the roads together and enjoying life without many concerns. It was a time of freedom and fun.
I want to continue to feel this way, and I hope to see my father this way again.

The past year and a bit has been wild—wild, but not really in a great way. I would like to share one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience in my personal life so far, in hopes of spreading mental health awareness and courage.

In short, my dear father, who is only 65 this year, has suffered multiple TIAs (mini-strokes) and has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. He now needs assistance with many things he previously managed on his own. I am thankful, though, for the things he can still do at this time.

My father has been in and out of hospitals, visited by doctors at home, and has undergone various brain scans, tests, and other uncomfortable and scary situations. This all happened at the beginning of the year when we were selling our home, where we had lived for a very long time. The stress was and still is immense for everyone—myself, my mother, my partner, and, of course, my father.

With the help of family, friends, and ongoing support systems, it’s been ‘manageable,’ but we are in no way thriving. The surviving and not thriving is the hardest part to swallow.

Mental health has been a huge factor this year for me and my family. I have personally suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my teenage and adult life. I carry strong emotions, which makes it difficult to articulate myself in times of despair and uncertainty. I may come across as angry or irritable, but that is my reflection of sadness.

When you find yourself in a very dark place, even though you have support around you, but still feel completely alone and scared, that is when you know you have to be proactive about your health and your mind.

Baby steps on this, but get out of the dark place, because you can. As they say, life is not easy. It is very hard to breathe at times, but if we stick together and keep the ones we love close, do the things our soul craves, listen to our intuition, take breaks, and make time for ourselves so we can care for others, life can be manageable, and we will be alright.

Life can also surprise you in ways you never expected through keeping your head up and remaining optimistic. Things can and will work out eventually. That mindset is a true measure of the human spirit and perseverance. I believe we can all get there, with help.

We all have gone or will go through some insane, shocking, and upsetting things in our lives. You will be okay. We must hang on to hope and practice optimism, even with a comedic approach towards difficult situations when we can.

I can’t stress enough the importance of seeking help. Sometimes when you seek help, whatever that help may be, you end up getting the support you didn’t think was possible. That help can also open new doors to more help.

Please feel free to reach out to me anytime at laura.mcleod5@hotmail.com if you want to share your story privately. We can have a conversation, I can be an ear for you, and you can be an ear for me. Let’s support one another, always.

Thank you to whoever took the time to read this. Thank you, Jodi, for the platform to post my short story, and Trisha, who supported and encouraged me to share. You have both shared powerful stories of your own, which I know help others. I hope mine helps at least one person know they are not alone in heartaches of any kind.

<3 Laura McLeod