A Heavy Heart: Navigating Grief - by Jillian Prosser

If you know me, you know I’m a bit of a stress ball. I tend to overthink everything (thanks, anxiety), which can be very exhausting.
Recently, though, that weight has felt heavier than ever.
I got the heartbreaking news that my cat, Bailey, has cancer, and it’s hit me hard. I love animals deeply, and Bailey is more than just a pet - he’s like my child. He’s my companion, my source of comfort, and knowing that he’s in pain and I can’t fix it is heart-wrenching. Honestly, I feel like a failure somehow.

This loss feels especially raw because it stirs up grief I’ve been carrying quietly for years. Over the past four years, I’ve lost so many people I loved deeply - my dad, Kevin, Chris, my best friend Jordan, and others who were such a huge part of my life.
With each loss, I find myself wondering, "When will it be enough?" But life, it seems, always has other plans.

After writing this, I was also told my grandpa passed away. It felt like yet another storm hitting just when I thought I might have found a little peace. When it rains, it pours, and right now, it’s pouring.
This is also my dad’s birthday month, which makes everything feel even more emotional.
Just when I feel like I’m standing on steady ground, another wave comes crashing through.

On the outside, I might look like I’m holding it all together, like I’m "strong," but the truth is, I’ve learned to survive by compartmentalizing my grief, distracting myself just enough to get through the day.
If I don’t think about it, it "can’t hurt me"…or at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

But burying these feelings only holds back the flood gates for so long. The weight is always there, and when it does resurface, it comes back in full force. That’s why I wanted to write this - to share the reality of what grief can feel like. Because, how can I help run a foundation and share others' stories if I don’t share my own?
Grief is part of my story, and I hope that by sharing it, I encourage you to write out your own.

So, for anyone else carrying that same weight, remember that it’s okay not to be okay.
Pain doesn’t disappear just because we want it to, and healing isn’t about forcing ourselves to move on.
Sometimes, it’s about letting ourselves feel, honoring what we’ve lost, and knowing that even if the storm keeps coming, we’re still here, weathering it.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s a strength all on its own.