Finding Strength in Sobriety: Austin's Journey Through Addiction and Recovery.

Hello everyone!

My story stems from a split childhood. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old and remarried other partners shortly after. Living between both my parents 50/50 came with many issues. I was a part of families I didn't want to be a part of. My schooling was affected, and it was hard for me to concentrate on a stable lifestyle, always going back and forth. It was hard to grasp as a child; I didn't know what was going on or why I had to be put through such an ordeal. This led me to develop anxiety disorders and severe depression.

After years of going back and forth, at the age of 12, my father offered me my first "beer and cigar" on a quiet, warm summer night at the cottage. Feeling like it was a way to cope with the constant jostling back and forth between my parents, by the age of 16, I was a full-blown alcoholic. I'd drink on weekends with friends and family, hiding alcohol I illegally obtained and drinking it in my room at home, believing no one would catch me.

Throughout high school, I developed a liking for marijuana and smoked almost every day of the week, sneaking out on weekends with friends to get high and drunk, going to parties where sometimes I knew no one but the friends I went with. It was a great way to socialize at the time, but I was doing so at the cost of my dignity and self-esteem.

Throughout my substance use, my anxiety disorders and severe depression were amplified trying to fit in with a crowd that I was uncomfortable fitting in with. I would use to inhibit my feelings and just let life take me where it wanted to, sometimes to the hospital after going overboard one too many times, but this didn't stop me from using. In the course of my addiction and substance use, I attempted to take my life 3 times, thankfully without success. I attempted once when I was 25, another when I was 26, and the last time when I was 29. I'm very thankful that it turned out the way it did and that I didn't suffer the same fate many in my position have.

In my early 20s, after I had moved out from my childhood homes, I was accelerated into heavy substance use, drinking 12 packs every day and smoking copious amounts of marijuana just to get me through my day, sometimes experimenting with psychedelics on random days during the week. Keggers on weekends and tons of money spent at bars and clubs, only to wake up the next day and waste the whole day recovering from the bender the night before. This became my norm.

One fateful evening, in my late 20s, after attending a party with my girlfriend, I made the rash decision to drive my car home. I ended up getting into an accident, in which I totaled my car. Miraculously, we were both uninjured in the accident, but I had to deal with some serious legal and mental consequences. It was after this point I decided to stop using alcohol. I realized I had put someone I loved into harm's way, and I didn't want to subject myself or anyone else to that type of behavior anymore. I ruined my relationship with a woman I loved and lost friendships with many people because of that night, and I couldn't bear the brunt of the mental anguish my substance abuse brought to my life. This was a pivotal moment in my life. At the age of 29, I stopped drinking alcohol.

I continued smoking marijuana for a few years afterward, as I thought taking out all substances at once would have brought upon a shock to my physical state it wouldn't have been able to handle.

In January 2021, my dog passed away after a very aggressive illness. This sent me into a spiral. Although I did not relapse when it came to alcohol, but my marijuana consumption began to rise, as well as the use of psychedelics. In June of 2021, I created 'Great Canadian Photography' as a means to cope with the loss of my dog, a business I still run to this day.

In February 2022, the sudden death of my father resulted in even heavier use of marijuana and psychedelics as a means to cope. It sent me into a vicious spiral for months afterward, in which I was getting the impending feeling of contemplating a suicide attempt. On August 29th, 2022, I decided that I had to take life into my own hands and began my journey of recovery.

I have remained sober of alcohol since that one fateful evening in December 2017, and I'm almost 20 months clean of all forms of drugs today. I continue my recovery because I've become aware of the great benefits of eliminating any form of drugs from my system. It has been a choice I value and cherish every single day of my life. It has made me self-aware, I have reconnected myself to God and the universe, and I have more respect for myself and others and how I live my life. I'm truly blessed for the life I now live.

I've lost many friends to substance abuse and mental health issues, and most days I wish I could go back in time and help them more, but I stay clean to make my life better and to honor the ones who didn't make it out of their addiction. I miss them a lot, but I cherish my memories with them and will continue to do my best for them, in their honor.

Because of my new lifestyle, I've helped countless amounts of people with their addiction issues today, and I will continue to be an advocate for mental health and addiction issues for everyone who doesn't have that voice anymore.

If anyone needs help, I am available on social media (Instagram: great.canadian.photography), and you can find me on Facebook under my name.

If you're feeling unwell, say something to someone; it'll save your life. I'll always be here for you; just know you're not alone.

Thank you for your time in reading my story.

With much love,

Austin Kenny